“You’ve got to go naked into the world and make yourself vulnerable to it. Spells of acute loneliness are an essential part of travel. Loneliness makes things happen.” -Jonathan Raban
I am at heart a social beast. I am also a traveler. You would think the two things would go together well. I have always traveled with a partner; lover, husband, sister, friend, child. Years spent exploring the globe and some of the most memorable, or shall I say, transformative moments, came when I was alone surrounded by others. I wondered at that. Walking the camino and finding myself far behind I listened to my thoughts and knew I had been changed, breathing heavy and plodding slowly over a 14,ooo ft pass in Peru I heard my heart beat and marveled at what my body could do, sitting on a darkened patio listening to the rustle and roar of wildlife in Africa I felt something shift in my heart. All singular moments where I was able to tap into a space of quiet and aloneness. But was being alone the same as being lonely? And how would traveling solo change my experience of the world around me? As Paul Theroux, the inveterate solo traveler insists, companions are consolations and inevitably, distractions.
I agreed that it was time to strip away my distractions, my crutches, my security blankets. I would need to go it alone, face hardships and fears with grit and self-determination. I do enjoy my own company, so I wasn’t concerned about that. I am also an introvert, I gain energy from being by myself. I like to ponder and reflect and the idea that not having someone to share those impressions with could possibly crystallize my observations into more cogent images appealed to me. I knew I could fill up my downtime with writing and reading. Would I meet people more easily? So says Theroux. He thinks a couple traveling together are too self-contained, others finding themselves unable or unwilling to penetrate the contented duo. The decision was made.
I knew I wanted to travel for at least two weeks, to allow the effect of solo travel to work its magic. Also, I intended to travel to a country that presented its own unique set of challenges. Why not immerse myself in first times? Morocco had always been on my list, for the allure of walled cities, the intensity of color, tile and fabric, the redolent spices and cuisine. And then there was that vast expanse of ochre-hued desert, I figured if one was seeking solitude, the Sahara would not disappoint. I was also interested in the fact that Morocco, while 99% Muslim, considers itself a tolerant and inclusive country. I was questioned by many about the wisdom of traveling to a Muslim country and in all honesty, I was not deterred nor was I worried. I welcomed the opportunity to travel as a minority and to experience firsthand the Islamic faith and traditions.
In retrospect, after I’d finalized all the plans, I realized how ironic it was that I was going to a country where women are very much marginalized and I would have to dress and act a certain way for my own safety, and also not to offend. For the past two years, I’d ranted and spoken out against our own country’s objectification and mistreatment of the female gender and here I was, joyfully packing to travel to a place where I cannot show my upper arms. I was mollified somewhat by my reading about the current King and the progressive reforms he had put into place for Moroccan women. Things were improving but guidebooks still warned American women to cover up and not to go out at night alone or even in pairs.
For this reason, I chose to travel with a company that I’d booked with many times before. I would be traveling with a small group, but I paid the stipend for solo travelers so I would have my nights to myself. Solo but in a group of strangers, who I would come to know quite well in the intense two weeks we spent together. Mountain Travel Sobek is an adventure travel company thats been around for 60 years. They were the only outfitter in the U.S. that offered a camel trek in the Sahara Desert for 5 of its 14 day trip. After I booked, I found out that this was to be the last trip of its kind. The last camel trek. No one wanted to rough it in the desert for five days anymore. One day in a luxury camp was the way to go now. Maybe an hour on a camel’s back. a packaged experience to go. Their future trips would include cooking classes and itineraries built around cuisine and artisan workshops. I was increasingly excited, this was to be a first for me and the last for all of us on this trip. It gave the itinerary a melancholy element, the future becoming obsolete before we even took our first step.
I would be traveling with 9 other people. I was given their names and places they hailed from. Glen & Bunny from California. Koren from Seattle. Taunya from Seattle. Debbie from California. Venetia from NY, Marc from New Orleans, Mark and Sally from Ann Arbor. I hoped that there would be other single travelers. I hoped it would not be cliquish. I hoped we would all get along. I hoped I would make at least one friend.
The itinerary was as follows: Marrakesh(3 days), Atlas Mountains(3 days), Sahara Desert(5 Days) Fes(3 days). These place names held romantic and vivid notions in my imagination. I packed for all kinds of weather(translation: overpacked), wore my hiking boots on the plane, and prepared to open my heart and my mind.
