I grew up on the East Coast. Born and raised in South Jersey to be exact. (That “South” is important, it should be considered a separate state it’s so different in temperament AND accent). New York was an hour and a half drive or an hour on the Amtrak train. I spent many weekends there in my college years, visiting my brother who lived by Columbia University or my sister who lived in the Bronx. Sitting in standstill traffic on the GW Bridge, I would anticipate the energy and hum of the Big Apple, eager to immerse myself in its vibrant culture. I remember days spent wandering Central Park and the Village, nights spent haunting the old 80’s clubs, Area and BCBG. Those were different times. Free and unencumbered, I saw the city through an idealistic lens, full of possibility.
Currently, NYC is home to my middle son, Shane. Living with a gaggle of roommates in upper Harlem, he sees the city through that same lens of my youth, a place where dreams and opportunity are endless. Squeezed into a tiny living space, at the mercy of crowded sidewalks, fickle subway schedules and incessant ambient noise, I wonder how he copes. I recently spent 72 hours exploring his neighborhood, a place I’d not visited in 30 years.
WHY HARLEM?
I had decided that the best way to spend a weekend in New York is to pick a neighborhood and immerse myself in that place. Sure, Uber or the subway can deliver you to the south end of Manhattan in an hour but why waste the time and money? Each neighborhood in Manhattan delivers its own microcosm of city life, replete with it’s own distinctive culture; museums, coffee shops, restaurants, nightlife, and architecture. Harlem has always been a hotbed for creatives, arts like literature and music attracting intrepid spirits from all over the world. Recently, the area has seen an influx of celebrity chefs opening up buzz-worthy restaurants, attracting the usual hordes of foodies from all over. Another interesting trend in the past decade is the proliferation of French eateries in Harlem. Apparently, beginning in the early 70’s, when many American tourists shied away from the edgy Harlem neighborhood, French tourists were drawn by their intense interest in jazz, gospel, and black culture. In addition, for over 30 years, French-speaking Africans have settled and opened businesses here. According to a 2017 article in the NYT, since the 1990s, a small French expat community, attracted by the romanticism of Harlem, its strong sense of community and colorful history, as well as by low real estate prices, has sprung up and along with the plethora of French restaurants. I was excited to indulge in what some are calling Harlem’s French Renaissance.
LIVE LIKE A LOCAL
I’m really into Airbnb right now, despite my last experience with the sailboat. It’s true hotels offer a certain consistent level of comfort and security but the experience can be bland and monochromatic. I like the character and quirkiness that renting someone’s home or apartment can provide. Finding an Airbnb in NYC was an exercise in persistence, as there are literally thousands to choose from. Even when I narrowed my search to Harlem, I had myriad choices. I selected a garden apartment in a nicely restored brownstone three flat on Manhattan Ave that looked to be filled with interesting architectural details, small but cozy. All for $68 a night. Check! We ended up loving this place. Stairs lead down to a basement entrance, where a wrought iron gate opens gains access to the door to the apartment. Or the first door I should say. Two narrow and weathered wooden doors opened to an interior door. Pretty cool. One large room had a queen bed tucked against one wall, a day bed/sofa by the window, an oak paneled fireplace, small kitchen, wood floors and a tiny bathroom with black and white tile. It was charming and laden with beautiful woodwork and lattices. We got a real taste of what it would be like to live in the neighborhood, people walking dogs in the early morning, hanging out on stoops in the evenings. We were immersed, not entombed in a cookie-cutter hotel. That’s my speed, but if you are the hotel kind, I’m not knocking it. There was a brand new Aloft hotel right around the corner from our place.
BOOTS TO CONCRETE
The beautiful thing about staying in Harlem is you can walk everywhere. We had 72 hours to get a feel for Harlem and we focused on doing what most people do when they visit the city: eat, walk, repeat. First thing we do upon arriving in a new city is to throw the hiking boots on and hit the pavement. Harlem is a place where inherent danger lies not in crossing the street but in running smack into unsuspecting pedestrians or the occasional light pole because ones gaze is constantly drawn upward to the ornate and richly detailed rooflines. Harlem is a visual delight, showcasing stylish facades, mansard roofs, detailed crests, stained glass bay windows. Italianate mansions, Empire-style brownstones with magnificent stoops, and ornate churches line the wide elegant boulevards. A walk down Lenox Ave(Malcom X Boulevard) on a Sunday morning will afford you the opportunity to hear the gorgeous melodies of gospel music wafting out transom windows. If you plan to attend one of the services at one of the Gospel churches, arrive early! You may be turned away and some churches designate one particular service for tourists to attend. Be prepared to stay for the entire thing too (up to 3 hours of joyful preaching and music). Harlem streets are busy in a way that differs fro midtown or the village. You can tell you are among community, people talk on stoops, on street corners, yelling to one another across the street. The businesses are crowded with locals, and the streets are filled with accents from all over the world. 
SERENDIPITY
We found ourselves at Red Rooster, the iconic restaurant run by Marcus Samuelsson of Iron Chef fame. It’s impossible to get a reservation still, seven years after opening but it was 4:30pm so we decided to see if there was a seat at the bar. We lucked out with scoring a seat at a shared table and ending up sitting and conversing with a family of locals, mother and two brothers who were born and raised in Harlem. The food is not overrated, go hungry. The bartenders were buzzing about a concert that evening at the Apollo, turns out Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats were playing, a band I love and had yet to see live. Why not? I cancelled our dinner reservations at a supper club later that evening and bought a few tickets off Stub Hub We congratulated ourselves at how the night was turning out! The Apollo has a storied history, launching the careers of The Jackson Five and James Brown. A Harlem landmark, if you fund yourself in town on a Wednesday night, check out its famous Amateur Night, an evening when talented(and brave) performers take the stage. We found the best way to experience Harlem is to be prepared to change course. Wander the streets, talk to locals, pop into neighborhood joints. You’ll be surprised by what you find.
EAT. DRINK. WALK. REPEAT.
EAT
Most well-known place in Harlem, frequented by tourists and locals alike.The people-watching is sweet. Lively atmosphere, live music & DJ’s. Culturally diverse in clientele and menu. Swedish and Soul Food. Try Helga’s meatballs and the mac & cheese, damn the calories. Reservations a MUST unless you snag a seat at the very chill bar. Gospel Brunch on Sundays.
Adorable vintage-y breakfast joint with a varied menu. Good for vegans, carb-loaders & bacon-lovers.
I loved the vibe in this place, definitely the spot where locals hang at the cozy bar. Think French Bistro.
Authentic mediterranean. The standouts are the Baba Ganoush and the zucchini mint pancakes. Lovely interior.
Coffee shop/breakfast spot. Artsy interior, great service and delicious muffins. Must try their unique versions of avocado toast. YUM.
Place to go if you are craving pizza in Harlem. A basement space with a happening bar. Owners are super friendly and the pizza is thin crust, fresh ingredients. Get the Burrata Margarita Pizza.
One of the stellar French dining establishments in Harlem. We were greeted effusively by the owner, a local legend who has welcomed Michele Obama and Clive Davis to his restaurant. Atmosphere is eclectic, like a your artistic friends apartment. The food is traditional French and lovingly prepared.
A great Brunch spot, the interior is light-filled and reminiscent of a classy French wine bar.
I’m listing this here because this is where Shane works. We did not eat here, though Im told there are 3 seatings a night and they are VERY popular. If you are into neon lights, high decibel music, raucous partying and live performance during your meal, by all means GO! You’ll find either Shane singing in your ear while taking your food order or at the bar mixing you a damn good cocktail.
DRINK.
A sexy and intimate place to get a drink pre-dinner. Low lights, great music and killer cocktails.
A neighborhood joint where the prices are cheap and the eats are simple.
My favorite. A basement bar fashioned like a 70’s den with intimate seating, a sunken main bar, attentive service and a very creative drink menu.
Had a wonderful experience here. Corner bar/restaurant with large windows facing the busy street, the bartender Antony is outstanding. He asked our favorite alcohol of choice and proceeded to create each of us a masterful concoction based on his intuitive sense of what we would like.
Another basement level coffee shop, vintage decor and quaint relaxed vibe. Sunny oudoor patio open in nice weather. I’m told its the best expresso in Harlem.
DO.
Needs no introduction. If you are headed to Harlem, get online and get tickets to a show. Any show. You’ll be wowed by the history, the sound, the stunning interior.
Extensive collection of Caribbean and Latin artists of American descent. Great way to wile away an afternoon.
Central Park North
Get out and walk a little. Or a lot. CPN is less crowded then its southern environs and you’ll still get a taste of walking a peaceful green space bordered by high rises.
Taste Harlem Food and Cultural Tours
Go on a cultural food tour of soul food, Caribbean, and African cuisines.
City College Campus/The Grange
Take a walk through the architecturally diverse buildings, many landmarked, including The Grange, the former home of Alexander Hamilton. Modern mixes with Gothic style.